THE WEALTHIEST MAN IN THE WORLD

He owned the best chunks of land,

Thus making almost everybody his tenant.

To prove that he was no mean philanthropist

He donated lots on which the municipal council

constructed the auditorium, the basketball court

and the small pier for the pumpboats

that came from Zumarraga, Talalora, Villareal and Almagro.

People said that the man was so kindhearted

he also donated two public toilets

and three schoolhouses for poor children.

In the market, at the cockpit, in church, in school

the story of his life was repeatedly told.

He began as a town councilor. Upon the death

of the incumbent he became mayor. With nobody

noticing it he became a board member.

And before his term as governor was over

he was already representing my province

in the hallowed halls of Congress.

There, we learned from radio broadcasts

and newspaper accounts, he authored bills

creating sitios, converting sitios into barrios,

barrios into towns and towns into cities.

Had the bills been made into law

My province would have been called

“the province of cities.”

Just the way he wanted it.

And it would have been quite a reputation, I say.

As for his other contributions to the provincial welfare

The Congressional Gazette is full of the heroics

of our public servant.

He was not wanting in pallbearers and mourners

when he died.

His widow, wanting to perpetuate his name,

is now in business as a loan shark.

Reprinted from FOCUS Philippines

(Editor’s Note: EM at his satiric best!)